When is a chore not a chore?

When it's for my Master of course.

Ironing. My most-hated household task.
I'd rather clean the toilet.

I spend ages running the iron over clothes; slowly, slowly, just enough steam, perfect.
Then I remember that clothes have a back as well as a front.

*Sigh*

Turn it over. Start again.
Every last crease gone.

Hold it out. Inspect it. That corner... That evil, sneaky crease.

Repeat until finally it can go on a hanger.

That was just his shirt.
Repeat with the trousers.
Turn them back and front, again and again, doing one side only to manage to iron a crease into the other.

Finally, the hanger.

Look at the shirt as the trousers hang beside it.
Really? A crease?

Finally, shirt, trousers and jacket hang ready.

Ready for his job interview.

Good luck my dearest, even ironing isn't *that* bad when it's for you.

Paddle Me...

This is the kind of paddle I own.
I bought it before I met my Master, I was still single at the time.

I somewhat resent it because he didn't choose it. It was a random novelty impulse buy.
I suppose I still miss it though, the crack of it against my skin, the sting as it makes contact with me.

I still want it to be used on me.

But I want him to buy other paddles, wide dark rectangles of leather bliss...
I want to know that he has chosen what to use to punish me, tease me, please me.



I want a range of paddles in different sizes and shapes that I can bring to him on demand, the handles in my mouth as I crawl across the floor.

I want to be bent over his knee as he rains down short blows across my skin, bent with my elbows on the bed and my ass sticking in the air as longer harder swings are aimed at me.

I long for it. Crave it.

Reaction

*Happy-Dance*

Ok, so I'm a naughty sub, but I know that's one of the things that he enjoys about me.

Yesterday, with the mention of the cane still buzzing in my mind, I got a bit cheeky in my comments to my Master.
Ok, a lot cheeky.

Nothing amazing, just general sneaky comments as we sat in our lounge, him on the Ps4, me on my laptop.

And he got curious as well when he noticed me tapping away on my blog; I giggled and wouldn't say what I was doing. (I'm not ready to show him my blog yet, I have a rough timescale, but it'll be a while.)

Then he spotted me reading a blog as he walked past, he asked me if I'd been commenting on it; I giggled and truthfully said no. Though I didn't tell him what the blog was about when he asked.
(The blog in question was Vanilla Mom's, I've been reading it from the beginning, sadly skimming her well-written stories as the real-life stuff intrigues me much more; the stories really are very good though, full of kink, with a few dark topics, I just like knowing that stuff has really happened.)

Anyway... When I went to kiss him goodnight (I'm up early for work tomorrow, but he gets a lie-in still, he'd rather not but may as well take advantage of it) he grabbed my right ass cheek, digging his fingertips hard into my too-ample flesh.

Gods it hurt, but I didn't want him to stop.
My right leg lifted from the ground as I tried to ease the pain and he growled that it was what I got for trying to tease him.

Yeah... Let me think on that... I teased because I wanted pain... I got pain... Lesson learned...

I kissed him, my hand stroking the back of his neck as I felt his hard cock against me; finally! It's been too long since I've felt his cock grow hard from hurting me, but he's still himself, my lovely sadistic Master.

I just need to keep teasing... Oh what a naughty girl I am, guess I deserve a good spanking!

Promises

When I slipped back into bed to wake my Master today, I was feeling a little mischievous.

With my usual action of grinding my ass fairly gently against his cock as I lay wrapped in his arms and his hands ran across my side and ass, I murmured "It's a shame the paddle is in the desk".
(The desk is of the old school variety, with 2 lids - something I want badly to utilise alongside the wooden meter ruler we have. It's covered in books and my poor paddle is trapped inside)

My Master agreed that it was a shame and said that there was always the bamboo cane... I said no slowly and he chuckled at me and gently pushed me enough that my ass was angled for him to spank it.

Sweet bliss... It's been too long since he gave me a spanking even as short as the one I had this morning. After his hand hit the centre of my ass just above my thighs, I told him I liked it when he spanked me in the middle.
My legs were bent enough so that his hand sent tremors through my pussy each time it landed against my flesh... Lovely...

When he pulled me onto my back so that so that he could tease my clit, I was desperate for him to land a few slaps across my pussy, to send more shocks through me, but sadly it wasn't to be.

A little more awake than usual, he spread a trail of kisses across my shoulder and neck, his stubble scratching me nicely. I kept pushing myself towards him, hoping that he would bite me.
Again this wasn't to be, I'm worried that I've turned him off from biting me as he used to love leaving dark bruises on my neck, but these are no good when I have work so I had to tell him to stop... But my shoulders and back are still fair game...

I always long for him to talk to me when he's playing with my clit, I want to be told I'm his dirty slut, his whore, his cunt to do with as he pleases... But the kisses were a nice start.

After I'd came, he moved from beside me to between my legs and thrust inside me.
He told me that it was ok for me to cling to him as he thrust faster and faster, I came again before he filled my pussy.

Afterwards, he asked me to bring him a drink; when I asked him if he wanted it brought upstairs or if he wanted it downstairs, he said I should bring it upstairs like a good girl.
I asked him "What if I'm not a good girl?"
He replied that he would have to use the bamboo cane. Then stated that he would use the cane anyway.

Shivers down my spine at that... Promises, promises...

And sadly no sight of the cane yet...

Contemplating

I find myself thinking more often about what I want from my relationship; I'm now reading 2 different blogs from their beginnings and making a mental note of things that interest me.

What I'm likely to do soon is to begin to send my Master occasional links to items or posts that intrigue me.

I've already sent him a link to a picture of a Wartenberg wheel; the basic one row model intrigues me greatly at present, though I am stopping myself from giving too much thought to the 7 row variety until I can have my Master agree to the purchase and trial of the basic model.


I don't want to top from the bottom though; I don't want to approach my love and demand that he control me and use me.
Because of this, I'm trying to find subtler ways to show him that I'm still here, I'm still his to do with as he pleases.


Time remains as always an issue... By the time I've gotten in from work and cooked our evening meal, it's 9pm that we're sitting to eat and we have little energy to do more than watch TV and game.

On the bright side though, for the past two nights, we have sat and eaten our food whilst watching films, removing ourselves from our computers gives us a chance to focus on each other a little by snuggling and relaxing.
We're continuing with this tonight; getting Chinese takeaway in and watching a film - it's doubly special occasion, Valentine's day and 2 years since he moved in with me.

We've never really been into celebrating Valentine's day; we have takeaways on various anniversaries as a mini-celebration and we say 'I love you' several times every day. I did by him a card this year though, I couldn't resist it as the front read 'I love snuggling up to you' and it seemed to really sum us up as we spend a lot of time snuggling in bed, dozing off.
Following giving him the card, we postponed plans we'd made to visit a museum and snuggled up together to nap.

I love all the ways we curl up together, whether his strong arms are wrapped around me keeping me safe and his cock is pressed against my ass, or I'm curled around him, my head on his chest with the sound of his heartbeat close to me and my legs draped around his, or when I curl up behind him and wrap an arm around him softly kissing the middle of his back as we drift off to sleep.

But as much as I love all of this... It's so much better when I get to do it filled with cum and/or with an ass that's glowing warmly red...


So gradually in our evenings snuggled up, I'll introduce caresses and kisses, upping my general worship of my Master until he notices that I'm still his submissive slut.

A Slow Start

Last night I tried to bump up my Master's ownership of me.
Something small really, I'd made chocolate amaretto mousse for my sister and brother-in-law coming over on Saturday night and had some left, so I brought it to him with only one spoon.
When he questioned the lack of a second spoon, I cheekily stated that he had to say when I could have some.

Unfortunately, he was playing a game, so it ended up being me feeding him mousse from the spoon and him occasionally telling me I could have some... I'd been aiming for me kneeling beside him on the sofa as he fed me, taking my time to slowly lick the mousse from the spoon... Maybe next time...



It's all a bit tricky at the moment, Master isn't working and it's getting him down. I know he feels that he should be the one providing for us and hates being dependent on me for money.
And I hate that the way for us to get the most time together when I get home from work is for him to do housework through the day.
But it's still me being reliant on him to make it easier for me to serve... So it's not that bad really, is it? 

Add to it all that I'm unhappy with myself physically; I've put on a lot of weight over the past few years and it brings me down no matter how often he tells me I'm beautiful.
I hate my body most of the time.
I've lost almost a stone since 1st January this year, though last week I lapsed, my New Year's resolution discarded during a long, lazy week off work... I couldn't exercise as I'd pulled my shoulder through falling upstairs, I ate too much and I put a few pounds back on, but I'm determined to hit refresh and put effort into losing weight again.


It just feels like there's so much I need to try and do right now and I need his help with it, but it's difficult when he needs support to get through each day as well.

Trying Again

I had a blog. A blog I loved.
A blog I hadn't touched in over a year. He hadn't made me post.
Life had felt too Vanilla to post about.

But I've realised that my blog had helped chase the Vanilla away.
When he read it, it inspired him. But he'd stopped reading it.

I deleted the old blog today, wiping away past troubles to start afresh.

We've been living together for almost 2 years. It's been a little over 3 and a half years since we first got together.
Our first year was intense. There were a lot of things to work through and we both changed a fair bit.

In the time we've lived together, we seem to have lost our way when it comes to the pleasure and pain we so enjoyed. Work got in the way; long days with little time to be who we were.

And now? Now I'm worried that BDSM was a part of our lives that we won't get back.

But I want it.
I don't know if I can be happy without pain and orders and pleasure and submission.
I'm just not sure if he still wants it to.

I need to talk, to explain how I feel, and it wouldn't be enough to talk to him.
I'll send him the link to this new blog once I'm ready, but until and beyond then, won't you be my confidante?