Last night I tried to bump up my Master's ownership of me.
Something small really, I'd made chocolate amaretto mousse for my sister and brother-in-law coming over on Saturday night and had some left, so I brought it to him with only one spoon.
When he questioned the lack of a second spoon, I cheekily stated that he had to say when I could have some.
Unfortunately, he was playing a game, so it ended up being me feeding him mousse from the spoon and him occasionally telling me I could have some... I'd been aiming for me kneeling beside him on the sofa as he fed me, taking my time to slowly lick the mousse from the spoon... Maybe next time...
It's all a bit tricky at the moment, Master isn't working and it's getting him down. I know he feels that he should be the one providing for us and hates being dependent on me for money.
And I hate that the way for us to get the most time together when I get home from work is for him to do housework through the day.
But it's still me being reliant on him to make it easier for me to serve... So it's not that bad really, is it?
Add to it all that I'm unhappy with myself physically; I've put on a lot of weight over the past few years and it brings me down no matter how often he tells me I'm beautiful.
I hate my body most of the time.
I've lost almost a stone since 1st January this year, though last week I lapsed, my New Year's resolution discarded during a long, lazy week off work... I couldn't exercise as I'd pulled my shoulder through falling upstairs, I ate too much and I put a few pounds back on, but I'm determined to hit refresh and put effort into losing weight again.
It just feels like there's so much I need to try and do right now and I need his help with it, but it's difficult when he needs support to get through each day as well.
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