Trying Again

I had a blog. A blog I loved.
A blog I hadn't touched in over a year. He hadn't made me post.
Life had felt too Vanilla to post about.

But I've realised that my blog had helped chase the Vanilla away.
When he read it, it inspired him. But he'd stopped reading it.

I deleted the old blog today, wiping away past troubles to start afresh.

We've been living together for almost 2 years. It's been a little over 3 and a half years since we first got together.
Our first year was intense. There were a lot of things to work through and we both changed a fair bit.

In the time we've lived together, we seem to have lost our way when it comes to the pleasure and pain we so enjoyed. Work got in the way; long days with little time to be who we were.

And now? Now I'm worried that BDSM was a part of our lives that we won't get back.

But I want it.
I don't know if I can be happy without pain and orders and pleasure and submission.
I'm just not sure if he still wants it to.

I need to talk, to explain how I feel, and it wouldn't be enough to talk to him.
I'll send him the link to this new blog once I'm ready, but until and beyond then, won't you be my confidante?